Friendship

Yesterday I took my parents to a birthday party for a high school friend of my father’s. In fact, my father would say that this man is his best friend even though they just met when my father moved to the town during his senior year, and they only really spent that year together. (Must have been some year. My dad says that they just clicked, and it was like they had known each other for their whole lives. After that, my dad moved to the city (about 3 1/2 hours away from this town) and married my mom. His friend stayed in that town and got married as well.  They stayed in touch over the years, but I wouldn’t say that they spent a significant amount of time together – a weekend here or there when my parents went back for reunions or when their friends were passing through the big city on their way to a cruise or vacation.

Still, when we arrived a half hour early to the party, his friend, who has difficulty communicating now since he’s had a stroke, was clearly overjoyed to see him. They picked up where they had left off. And despite the number of people there to wish this man a “Happy Birthday,” he kept wandering back to my dad. He sat next to my father when it was time to eat. But when it was time to go, it was clear that his friend didn’t want him to leave. His friend wanted him to spend the night (like kids who want to have sleepovers), but my parents felt that would put too much strain on him and his wife after the big party. They both had tears in their eyes as they parted, maybe seeing each other for the last time – a reality at their age, or any age really.

This made me think about my best friend, and how much I love her. She is sweet and kind and generous, and I wouldn’t trade her for anyone. Unlike my dad who spent time with his friend for a year, I’ve had the privilege to know this friend my entire life. She just so happened to live across the street from me growing up.  We were born in the same year and went to the same school until my parents moved to a sister city when I was in 4th grade. But unlike my dad, who was separated from his friend, by over 200 miles, mine was just a few miles away.

I appreciate her in so many ways for all the thoughtful things she does like driving across town to get together or taking me to the airport or visiting me in the hospital.  But mostly I just appreciate her for being funny and interesting and for being supportive and willing to listen to all my problems.

Then I think about my daughters who have moved away from home and have their own lives in other places. In the past, I haven’t understood why their friends are more important to them than their family, but then I remember my friends. And I remember something a new friend told me: your friends are like your family, and you might like them better because you got to choose them. That’s so true!  It’s great, though, when your family are also your friends. That just gives you a greater support system!

Joke:  Friends don’t let friends take selfies.  Instead, they photo bomb you.

Quote:  “A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.”

 – Donna Roberts

Advice:  Never take your friends for granted.  Instead, make sure they know how much they mean to you.